Learning to be a mother

Tomorrow is your birthday, and this time it feels different from other years. 

You are turning 16. 

I remember other years that we spent together, planning your party, baking a cake, getting party favors ready. 

All the preparations weeks in advance. 

I remember the day before your birthday, trying to keep a secret birthday party was easy when you were 5.

We had a really good time together. 

I thought I was so good. I thought all I did was good. 

But then the time passed. I grew, I became an adult... and then I had my own son. 

And looking back I realized I could have done better. 

I could have relaxed a bit and be less strict. Be more fun. 

Realize that life is not all about learning, about modals and about milestones. 

Life is not all about eating healthy and having your veggies.

Life is also about just enjoying the moment with no plan. 

Life is also about enjoying ice cream and chips. About staying late watching a movie together and having fun.

Thank you for teaching me how to be  a mom. 

Thank you for letting me love you like my son. 

Thank you for all the love you gave me. 

I hope that the time we spent together was fun for you too and that you remember the good times. 

Now that I have a soon I realized that I could have been more relaxed, but I could have not loved you more... because I love you with all my heart.

I always felt proud of you. 

I always wanted to teach you everything I know, so your life is easier than mine. 

I always tried to protect you and show you how to protect yourself. 

I hope that with my example I was able to give you tools to succeed in life. 

Always respect yourself, and know that there are a lot of people who love you and worry about you all the time.

To you, my stepson... I wish you a Happy Birthday.... a trip around the sun that is so special and magical. May your 16 year be filled with magic and love. 

I always have you in my prayers and I know I will always protect you even if we are apart. 

You can always count on me.